Last two weeks I had some really disturbing and bizarre dreams. Last time I stated that I have some concerns about the dreams where I kill people..well, that theme is getting stronger.
I have a strategy about remembering what's happening in my head when sleeping. I also keep track of the weather and the landscape of the dream. Usually I dream in color and the events take place during sunny days in cities or around them. Rarely I find myself in forests or plains, but it happens nevertheless. I already stated that when I kill people in my dreams it's because of self defense and mostly with a pointy/sharp objects - knifes, pens or something similar. So, here we go..I'm gonna describe two recent dreams.
Dream One.
It took place, around the building where I live now, in Sofia. There is a big street that divides a large park from a big meadow, that lies before my block of flats. Parallel to the big green lawn there are several other blocks. In my dream there were also some kind of small houses..like cottages on the grass. First I was standing in front of the gateway of my building and it was nighttime. I had to take my dog out, but I decided to wait for the daylight. I tried to go to my flat, but something made me return outside. So I did that, and found out that it was already early in the morning, sub-darkness. I saw those houses on the meadow and I was curious to see who inhabits them. But when I headed towards them a woman came out of nowhere and told me that there were other women, living inside the houses, that were thieves and they stole something of mine. The woman then ran away, she was scared. So I got a bit angry and headed towards the houses. They looked very bad, all broken and full of filth, garbage was spread all around them. So I entered one of the houses. It had that long corridor with several rooms on each side. Most of them were locked, but I entered a few that weren't and found more scattered garbage. Suddenly I depicted this scary feeling, that someone is actually following me. I tried to escape the house trough the corridor, but someone was already on the way. I didn't see who that was, because I hadn't left the room yet. I grabbed some broken wood from the floor and waited to see what will happen. Well, as I was warned - some hobo woman, rushed into the room screaming. She attacked me, and I had no choice. I stabbed her in the chest several times. It was hard, because I was using just a peace of wood., fallen from a furniture or something. She fell dead on the floor and I got really scared. I remember trying to open some of the locked doors but with no success. The idea was to hide the body there. I came back worried and started grabbing her few belongings - a necklace and some other small jewelry. I ran out and reached the closest side of my building. There were no people around so I hid the loot under a small rock. The next thing I remember was that the police were around the neighborhood, searching for evidence. I was still very frightened, and this time I was with my dog. We went near the stone and acted like nothing happened. In my mind there was a complete chaos, about what to do with the evidence. I remember that an officer came near me with big smile and asked if I saw anything earlier. Of course I said I have no idea what he was talking about. He made a short look around and left the area. Then my dog disappeared somewhere and I went to some big pile of sand and rocks close to some street, situated nearby. I remember that I sat there for a while, looking at the colors of the day and thinking of what I've done. That scary feeling was gone. I'm not sure about that, but the cops finally arrested some other hobo woman. I watched the whole thing from that pile I was sitting on. Shortly after that I went back to the rock, picked up the evidence, made a lap around my neighborhood and I think I threw away the stuff in a garbage-can.
Dream Two.
It's about a zombie apocalypse, thou there weren't any zombie encounters. The setting was a waste city, with neighborhoods that I'm familiar with. Again, mostly building blocks, with streets and abandoned cars and what not. The interesting thing was that all of these objects were old, I mean from the '90s. It's like, what happened to the world, happened then and I dreamed about it 20 years after the events. Call it nostalgia..I often get sad or a bit depressed when thinking of the old. If I find a coin or book that reminds me of my childhood, something chokes me from the inside. Anyway, lets go back to this particular adventure.
I was with several other companions. I can't remember who they were, but I'm sure they were close friends of mine from the real life. We walked around some ruins in search of shelter. Of course, it was sunny and there were some green fields here and there. So mostly we ran from one place to another with big caution, not to make noise or drag attention in any way. Eventually we found that large house/barn thing with big cracks in the walls and roof. We entered and saw that there were walkways on several floors around the walls. The center of the building was hollow and there were some nasty things on the ground. I don't remember what they were, but they managed to make us stay away from them..I think they were some kind of mechanisms. Anyway, we found something like a room and hid there. It was dark inside, but there was a window. We went to see what lies beyond and saw a large, 10-15 meter rectangular lake with some broken, wooden quays and bridges around it. And then we look back inside the room, to find out that we weren't alone anymore. A large blue man was standing on the doorway, with a big smile and shaman-like clothing. We got scared at first and reached for our weapons - spears, knifes and sword-like craftings. The man made some gesture with his hands and paralysed us. He told us that we are now a part of his game. We were to cross that lake outside. If we make it, we were free to go. If we don't, he would kill us. I guess he was some kind of a wizard or a gin. He made us appear next to the lake, maybe by the means of teleportation..I dunno its a dream. I can't remember how many us were there, but the number got lowered very quickly! A large monster came out from the lake, having those long and and whip-like tentacles. We tried to defend, but in a matter of seconds several of us were already in the water, drowning. Rest of us tried to find a way around but with little success. We had no choice, but to run back in the house and take our chances with the blue guy. He was actually observing all of this from the room, and seeing what was happening he brought the last remaining of us back in. He started laughing and told us that there was another way of winning our freedom back. Obviously this strange blue man had problems with some people living in a ruined city not far from the house. We were told, to go there and talk with their leader, sadly I don't remember why. Only three of us were sent there. We had no choice, but to continue and see what we can do about the situation. The picture was the same as I described it earlier - old streets, cars, interiors and so on. We were confused of how this place was whole and not overrun by the zombies. There were no walls, barricades or any sign of struggle and fight. Eventually we ran into a neighborhood full with strange people - they were all moving slowly, doing basic stuff (cleaning streets and cars etc.)..like they had no idea what's outside this place. Most of the things they did were senseless , they were acting like they were drugged. We tried to talk to some of them, but with no success. Eventually a man came, dressed with a raincoat. He greeted us and slowly asked of what business were we in his territory. As we tried to explain to him something about the blue man, all the people started to gather around us. They were all acting like zombies, but they were alive and in some form of bliss! I actually remember asking the man, of how did this community survive the apocalypse. Then it all got ugly...He shared that there were some parts of the human body, that when removed, we gain freedom from the perpetual sin that lies in everyone of us. Those parts were the main food supply for the zombies, and they actually needed very little of it to satisfy their hunger. While sharing this disturbing secret, all the people were gathered around and stared at us with curiosity, The man smiled and told us to join them, because they were a bit low on the body-parts supply. Of course we refused and started walking backwords. The rest is guessable...All the people started walking towards us, with no haste and with hands stretched towards us. Thou slowly, they gathered very fast around as and we started running away, towards the house. What came next is again an act of self defense. Several men tried to grab me, and I was forced to stab, hit and kick them. I remember killing three or four of them, then running..The leader of these poor people started shouting at us to return, that we ruined everything and that we don't know what we were doing. Then I woke up.
Some times I wonder, what would actually happen in the dream if I sleep a bit more. Actually this may be considered as a common thought. Sadly, most people spare little time thinking of what they live trough while sleeping. Maybe their lives are too interesting and full of thrill, that they don't need to pay attention to their mind, playing its tricks and making up unbelievable stories.
I think I've said that before, but my dreams have this epic feeling in it. Everything is vast, there is always a sky, a horizon, endless oceans of grass, trees, buildings and water of course. There are some places that I've visited several times now, like that few dreams I had of a sea, situated on a mountain peak. Or that other shore-themed dream, where I'm standing against a vast ocean and around me lies a collossal cliff labyrinth, creating a gulf with epic proportions in the measure of high. Epic stuff.
Someday, when I have more free time, and less shit to do, I'm gonna draw some of my favorite landscapes. Such beauties can't be left undescribed.
That's all for now!
