The Worlds of My Mind

Last two weeks I had some really disturbing and bizarre dreams. Last time I stated that I have some concerns about the dreams where I kill people..well, that theme is getting stronger. 

I have a strategy about remembering what's happening in my head when sleeping. I also keep track of the weather and the landscape of the dream. Usually I dream in color and the events take place during sunny days in cities or around them. Rarely I find myself in forests or plains, but it happens nevertheless. I already stated that when I kill people in my dreams it's because of self defense and mostly with a pointy/sharp objects - knifes, pens or something similar. So, here we go..I'm gonna describe two recent dreams.

Dream One.

It took place, around the building where I live now, in Sofia. There is a big street that divides a large park from a big meadow, that lies before my block of flats. Parallel to the big green lawn there are several other blocks. In my dream there were also some kind of small houses..like cottages on the grass. First I was standing in front of the gateway of my building and it was nighttime. I had to take my dog out, but I decided to wait for the daylight. I tried to go to my flat, but something made me return outside. So I did that, and found out that it was already early in the morning, sub-darkness. I saw those houses on the meadow and I was curious to see who inhabits them. But when I headed towards them a woman came out of nowhere and told me that there were other women, living inside the houses, that were thieves and they stole something of mine. The woman then ran away, she was scared. So I got a bit angry and headed towards the houses. They looked very bad, all broken and full of filth, garbage was spread all around them. So I entered one of the houses. It had that long corridor with several rooms on each side. Most of them were locked, but I entered a few that weren't and found more scattered garbage. Suddenly I depicted this scary feeling, that someone is actually following me. I tried to escape the house trough the corridor, but someone was already on the way. I didn't see who that was, because I hadn't left the room yet. I grabbed some broken wood from the floor and waited to see what will happen. Well, as I was warned - some hobo woman, rushed into the room screaming. She attacked me, and I had no choice. I stabbed her in the chest several times. It was hard, because I was using just a peace of wood., fallen from a furniture or something. She fell dead on the floor and I got really scared. I remember trying to open some of the locked doors but with no success. The idea was to hide the body there. I came back worried and started grabbing her few belongings - a necklace and some other small jewelry. I ran out and reached the closest side of my building. There were no people around so I hid the loot under a small rock. The next thing I remember was that the police were around the neighborhood, searching for evidence. I was still very frightened, and this time I was with my dog. We went near the stone and acted like nothing happened. In my mind there was a complete chaos, about what to do with the evidence. I remember that an officer came near me with big smile and asked if I saw anything earlier. Of course I said I have no idea what he was talking about. He made a short look around and left the area. Then my dog disappeared somewhere and I went to some big pile of sand and rocks close to some street, situated nearby. I remember that I sat there for a while, looking at the colors of the day and thinking of what I've done. That scary feeling was gone. I'm not sure about that, but the cops finally arrested some other hobo woman. I watched the whole thing from that pile I was sitting on. Shortly after that I went back to the rock, picked up the evidence, made a lap around my neighborhood and I think I threw away the stuff in a garbage-can. 

Dream Two.

It's about a zombie apocalypse, thou there weren't any zombie encounters. The setting was a waste city, with neighborhoods that I'm familiar with. Again, mostly building blocks, with streets and abandoned cars and what not. The interesting thing was that all of these objects were old, I mean from the '90s. It's like, what happened to the world, happened then and I dreamed about it 20 years after the events. Call it nostalgia..I often get sad or a bit depressed when thinking of the old. If I find a coin or book that reminds me of my childhood, something chokes me from the inside. Anyway, lets go back to this particular adventure.

I was with several other companions. I can't remember who they were, but I'm sure they were close friends of mine from the real life. We walked around some ruins in search of shelter. Of course, it was  sunny and there were some green fields here and there. So mostly we ran from one place to another with big caution, not to make noise or drag attention in any way. Eventually we found that large house/barn thing with big cracks in the walls and roof. We entered and saw that there were walkways on several floors around the walls. The center of the building was hollow and there were some nasty things on the ground. I don't remember what they were, but they managed to make us stay away from them..I think they were some kind of mechanisms. Anyway, we found something like a room and hid there. It was dark inside, but there was a window. We went to see what lies beyond and saw a large, 10-15 meter rectangular lake with some broken, wooden quays and bridges around it. And then we look back inside the room, to find out that we weren't alone anymore. A large blue man was standing on the doorway, with a big smile and shaman-like clothing. We got scared at first and reached for our weapons - spears, knifes and sword-like craftings. The man made some gesture with his hands and paralysed us. He told us that we are now a part of his game. We were to cross that lake outside. If we make it, we were free to go. If we don't, he would kill us. I guess he was some kind of a wizard or a gin. He made us appear next to the lake, maybe by the means of teleportation..I dunno its a dream. I can't remember how many us were there, but the number got lowered very quickly! A large monster came out from the lake, having those long and and whip-like tentacles. We tried to defend, but in a matter of seconds several of us were already in the water, drowning. Rest of us tried to find a way around but with little success. We had no choice, but to run back in the house and take our chances with the blue guy. He was actually observing all of this from the room, and seeing what was happening he brought the last remaining of us back in. He started laughing and told us that there was another way of winning our freedom back. Obviously this strange blue man had problems with some people living in a ruined city not far from the house. We were told, to go there and talk with their leader, sadly I don't remember why. Only three of us were sent there. We had no choice, but to continue and see what we can do about the situation. The picture was the same as I described it earlier - old streets, cars, interiors and so on. We were confused of how this place was whole and not overrun by the zombies. There were no walls, barricades or any sign of struggle and fight. Eventually we ran into a neighborhood full with strange people - they were all moving slowly, doing basic stuff (cleaning streets and cars etc.)..like they had no idea what's outside this place. Most of the things they did were senseless , they were acting like they were drugged. We tried to talk to some of them, but with no success. Eventually a man came, dressed with a raincoat. He greeted us and slowly asked of what business were we in his territory. As we tried to explain to him something about the blue man, all the people started to gather around us. They were all acting like zombies, but they were alive and in some form of bliss! I actually remember asking the man, of how did this community survive the apocalypse. Then it all got ugly...He shared that there were some parts of the human body, that when removed, we gain freedom from the perpetual sin that lies in everyone of us. Those parts were the main food supply for the zombies, and they actually needed very little of it to satisfy their hunger. While sharing this disturbing secret, all the people were gathered around and stared at us with curiosity, The man smiled and told us to join them, because they were a bit low on the body-parts supply. Of course we refused and started walking backwords. The rest is guessable...All the people started walking towards us, with no haste and with hands stretched towards us. Thou slowly, they gathered very fast around as and we started running away, towards the house. What came next is again an act of self defense. Several men tried to grab me, and I was forced to stab, hit and kick them. I remember killing three or four of them, then running..The leader of these poor people started shouting at us to return, that we ruined everything and that we don't know what we were doing. Then I woke up.

Some times I wonder, what would actually happen in the dream if I sleep a bit more. Actually this may be considered as a common thought. Sadly, most people spare little time thinking of what they live trough while sleeping. Maybe their lives are too interesting and full of thrill, that they don't need to pay attention to their mind, playing its tricks and making up unbelievable stories.

I think I've said that before, but my dreams have this epic feeling in it. Everything is vast, there is always a sky, a horizon, endless oceans of grass, trees, buildings and water of course. There are some places that I've visited several times now, like that few dreams I had of a sea, situated on a mountain peak. Or that other shore-themed dream, where I'm standing against a vast ocean and around me lies a collossal cliff labyrinth, creating a gulf with epic proportions in the measure of high. Epic stuff. 

Someday, when I have more free time, and less shit to do, I'm gonna draw some of my favorite landscapes. Such beauties can't be left undescribed.

That's all for now!

Random thoughts

Again, it's been a while. Well, what can I say..I started this blog as an idea of keeping it as a dream journal. Eventually it went to some different direction, filled with realistic, hate-fueled, biologically correct and logical thoughts.

 Once a month I read what I've posted for the last two years and for good or worse, I haven't changed my mind. At least not much. One cannot say "ooh..it's just a phase of your life...". Well, no.

 To be honest, everything is working well with my life, on a career and educational level. I've made a great progress of fulfilling every dream I have, connected with my age and the space-time continuum :)

 As I am a studying magistrate of zoology, I have this class called Zoopsychology. Man, I've tried to level the Human as being so animal, as the bacteria next to him, in several old posts. Well, there's a book about it. Eventually I'll protect my ideas with the right terminology, because obviously being represented this way, they are more acceptable - for me, and for the masses.

 The last few months I've been obligated to go around this damn city and do whatever crap I have to do. If it wasn't for the sky and the music from my phone, I would've beat the shit out of someone or get into really big troubles. The amount of two-legged organisms, walking around the streets, calling themselves Men, are beyond my ability to count. When? When will all this come to its end? I've talked about my Utopian dream. After I've shared it with some close friends of mine, with similar ideas of life, they pointed some holes in this theory. Well of course, nothing can be perfect when you put self aware animal that wants to reproduce in a cage with shitload of other such beasts. It's sad actually.

 So, what's the problem? The problem is our ability to think of the future, to have more individual and ego-boosting self thoughts. The problem is that we think and analyse everything with the motor-power of the GREED. We are called Homo Sapiens - Wise men. Why not Homo Avaritia, Greedy men?

 But, there is that paradox, if I may call it like that. Look at all the tribes, all over the globe. There are even such that the modern civilization haven't discovered yet. Why haven't they developed like the rest of the world? Because they've found the way to live in perfect harmony with the nature, thus surviving from the very beginning of their existence. We? We create and destroy - the loop that grows and eventually will engulf everything that we can get hands on. The problem is that overthinking and blind passion for knowledge that we have. The connection between us - the so called Modern World and those simple tribes is almost lost. How can we restore it? I don't know..maybe we are not able anymore. Everything is a complete mess. Absolute bomb with a counter. I don't want to be near it when time comes for it to detonate. Of course I have a plan about that, but I may speak of it some other time.

 So what now? Keep up walking around and don't give a crap about all this? Yeah, sounds easy. But it isn't. But, till the moment I can afford of getting away from this, I can do nothing more, but to walk among my kind and pretend everything is normal.

 Dreams. Let's talk about dreams. For the last 4-5 years I've dreamed of killing a man five times. Last three in the last couple of months. Strange? Well, It's story time:

 Long ago I had that dream of being in my high school, walking around the dark corridors. There were some people here and there, but they were mostly dead or scared, crying or running away from something. I was just looking for a way out. I remember those dark classrooms and toilets, all broken and in ruins. Suddenly the chasers saw me, and I ran. I've reached a corridor and saw this girl, running away from a guy and I decided to help her. She was screaming and so on, so I reached my pockets and the only thing I found was a single pen. Worth the try..So attacked the guy, who let the girl go after seeing me. He was dressed as a arabian, and had this native clothing. No matter, he attacked me too. So I managed to block his hands with my left arm and stab the guy in the kidneys with the pen in my right arm. He fell on me with a scream and I dropped him on the ground. He started crying and begging for help but I left. Eventually I found my way out.

Second dream: I think it was two years ago. So I was walking in this strange neighborhood, filled with unfinished buildings. I saw a woman, lying dead on the doorway of one of the constructions. I rushed to her, with the idea of help, but I saw it was already too late. Near her I found a gun. While I was staring at it, a big angry man came from inside the structure and started yelling at me some crap and charged me. I picked up the gun and ran away. Eventually I came to a dead end. He was gaining at me and he stopped after seeing I have nowhere to go. He then started laughing and walking towards me with his hands ready to grab me. I was scared and I knew what I had to do. I shot the bastard. He dropped dead and I ran away. I reached a street full of people and acted like nothing happened.

 Last few dreams, about me murdering people were the following: An angry man in his 50s chased me around a truck filled with crates. We were climbing, jumping and what not. He was very angry at me. It's because I saw him killing a friend of mine and he knew I was a witness. After trying to run away from him, I stumbled upon a kitchen knife. I didn't even hesitate. I charged him and stabbed him in the stomach. He tried to defend himself but I was prepared. So I stabbed him again and again, until he dropped dead. To be sure I stabbed him several times in the back. It's a hard thing getting a knife trough bone, I tell ya :D. My idea of knowing this is because I like to cook meet in real life. I've never stabbed a man before.

 The other two dreams are murky and all I can remember is again stabbing some guy for self defense and another one I pushed from high. Last night I dreamed of again defending myself against a guy, but in it I kicked his legs. The kick was so brutal, that I ACTUALLY KICKED MY BEDSIDE and woke up. Similar thing happened 3 years ago. Then I wanted to kick some attacker's board that he was holding. I kicked so hard that almost broke the window above my bed back then (it was summer time and it was opened). I even yelled from the pain. Wow! Anyway..

 Interesting stuff. Now I remember the ideas of the journal. When you put the needed information in one place you can see things that your thoughts cannot by themselves. I kill older men, mainly by stabbing. I don't know where this is going, and frankly I don't care. All I know is that there's a lot of anger inside of me. I can deal with it in real life, but it's getting pretty messy inside my head at night. I blame the society of course. There's almost nothing else that bugs me. Do I need a professional help? Maybe. But what would the guy do? Fill my head with crap that I already know? Stuff me with some chemicals? Or just talk? I talk here. I talk with my friends.

 But being around people is not always a bad experience. Last few months I saw a lot of nice individuals, being great and smart about basic stuff on the streets, dressed normal, acting normal. They are few of course, but they manage.

 Dreams... I might start describing them interesting again. I had that thought thou, will I ever get bored of having all those strange trips during my sleep? Like, living another life? I hope not. It's too amazing and too ethereal to just get boring.

 After I kicked my bed last night, I woke up of course. But when I fell asleep again I had that usual dream of me, chasing specific reptiles, wanting to get hold of a young individual. I was trying not to hurt them, but some of them managed to lose their tails. In real life I work with reptiles - my thesis is about a specific kind of lizard. That's actually very interesting, because there are those dream readers, that say that if you dream of a reptiles it means you are going to do something bad and so on. Well. I work with reptiles, how can I NOT dream of them? See? Logic..And yet, the masses believe all that crap and follow its laws blindly.

 This post turned out to be pretty long, which is good. It means I'm not done with the chaos in my head. I've yet to conquer my mind.

Mankind, the Cancer of Earth

In the previous post I tried to express why I dislike humans, and in this I will try to conclude the problem of our race. There is also a solution, that of course is unthinkable by most. Enjoy.

The population of humans on this planet numbers around 7 billion. Two hundred years ago the number has been around 1 billion. Two hundred years from now? 20 billion? No matter. It's obvious that we grow in rapid speed, and nature can't catch up with us. Trough years there were many mass extinctions of humans, that more or less kept us from spreading trough large areas, creating massive cities and destroying massive landscapes. Until recently, we were in chains. What happened? Well, for starters, after the fall of the Church's iron fist, Science managed to evolve in unmatched speed thus making our lives more safe, easy, secured. In other hand the value of the human life began to reach maximum weight in our society, creating a Modern Moral and Ethical Codex. Peace is told to be the main force that drives our species' progress. Is it? Let's head back in time again. If we leave aside big volcano eruptions, massive floods, ancient tzunamis, viral or bacterial epidemics and plagues, what else kept our numbers so small? Wars! My favorite examples are the Crusades. Two hundred thousand people died within around 200 years. The population of Earth back then was several millions. And after that, just when we started to grow again the plague came. After that the WW1 and WW2. In between all these big deaths and wars, the periods of time are getting shorter and shorter because we grow faster and faster. This leads to the simple conclusion - Something BIG has to happen in the near ten or twenty years, for our numbers to go back in the normal rate, corresponding to the balance of nature. It's clear that we are like a wild fire - we spread fast, destroy and kill everything in our path. And like such we will stop burning when there's nothing left around.

Uh, I forgot to mention the HIV virus. Nice try tiny friend, but we are still growing.

I already mentioned the reasons why we grow so rapidly. It's all thanks to our only weapon in advance - the brain. This is also our main evolving organ so to speak. The brain is our only line of defense against the forces of nature. Sadly it's also a powerful weapon. And like a disease, its bullets spread trough all of us, making us a well controlled and manipulated herd. We grow because of this higher moral and ethics. This growth will lead to our suffocation and later demise. The only solution is to change these codes, that keep our societies running. In nature, when an offspring is sick or weak its mother kills it or leaves it behind. As I already mentioned in previous posts, we think of ourselves like Gods, something beyond the animal. And we act like such. Thanks to our morals and science we keep our sick and weak. We contaminate our own species. For what? For the greater purpose?

On the other side of the problem there is another rule that our leaders thought of. The equality between people. Are we equal? No! There are people that can't be thought at anything, that their own way of living and existing, damages others. I'm not speaking of the difference between races. No. There are some very distinct marks that differ us one from another. It's hard to explain it in words. It is easy to spot a less intelligent human being, the shape of the head, the mimics, the looks. This is so obvious. You can't teach that primitive looking guy on something else than lifting heavy weight, working on the field or on the construction site. You can't put suit on this man and make him a lawyer. No. We do not have equality on the scale of intelligence. Our moral codes hide these distinct features that lesser some people. And yet, they are free to breed and to spread their stupidity and sickness. If we put a Caste system in all our societies in the means of genetically confirmed level of intelligence, the idea that I talk about will become very clear. We are not equal, we never were and we'll probably never be.

What has to change for we to survive as species? Several things. Rewrite our constitutions, rewrite our books, rethink the meaning of the term Human Being. We must stop wasting recourses for the sick and weak WHO CAN'T CONTRIBUTE IN ANY WAY TO OUR SOCIETY! Yes, I said that. What's the point of keeping someone alive if he can't do anything for our species. Again, look at the Other animals. Every individual has a purpose or place in a group or population. Weak and sick die out. More on that, their deaths prevent spreading the weakness they carried. Only the strong survive, mate, make the group/population stronger, more efficient thus making the whole species more capable of surviving. We do everything But that! It is like a suffocation. We must change that. We must start remembering what we are, and how are we supposed to act like. We must keep our species clean, we must put the lessers away from the main society, thus ensuring our growth in strength not in numbers. You may think I sound like a Nazi. No. I'm not speaking about white power, pure race and whatever these morons' philosophy speaks of. On the contrary! I engulf the idea of fusion between all the races on Earth. Why? It is so simple. Our genome will eventually become blunt. Having a nice variety of genotypes lying around is a good fuel for our evolution. Example: Closed societies can't live for a long period of time. Interbreeding will make it sick and eventually that society will fall apart. Simple as it is! England, Ireland, Norway, Sweden (Scandinavia as a whole) and others. Their Governments know that, and they welcome foreigners by giving them some accommodations for a start, for free or on low price, Just enough to make the newcomers stay and fortunately enrich the genotype of the region. This is how it's supposed to work. The Nazis were wrong. So lets go back to the topic. The main problem in our society is that we keep our corrupted individuals. Every single one, who can't contribute in any way is not to be left among the others.

The only way for us to survive as a species is the following: Demise at least 80% of our population. Destroy all modern cities, industrial zones. Build Utopias in several key places on Earth, over the ashes of the old sick world. Two to Three of these on every Continent for example. Build a massive wall around these places, preventing free passage. Those Utopian cities must have efficient energy sources that are small enough to sustain a population of several thousands. And the most important part of all. Only Those who can give a healthy child, with features that promise intelligence on a given level must be allowed to breed - Controlled population. Leave all native tribes around the world alone. They have been there for centuries and they were doing great. We must leave them be. This is the only way that ensures our survival as species. This is the only way that I tolerate.

The idea is to create zoos for people. There is that image, built trough time. People pop up out of no where and build walls to protect them from the evil nature. Later those humans become strong and start conquering the evil things beyond the wall. Later on, they realize that nature is not evil, and they start trying to keep it safe by building walls around it, again - irony. But it is too late, the damage is done. So, leave all be. Return back to the small and simple way of life. If the environment is healthy, we are healthy. But now we are both sick.

Those moral codes and all that sustain them must be changed or vanished. Like Religion. Its a state of mental sickness that corrupts our minds for centuries. We all have to open our eyes and face the facts. Who we are, what is our place in this world. Are we part of it? Yes! We are, and we must start acting like such.

One of our greatest features is the curiosity. Healing from all that damages our society , we will have the time and resources to concentrate on that need to learn more and more, which is harmless in theory and it is our only purpose. As I previously said, Our brain is the main evolving part of us. We must build our future around it. Explore and acquire as much as we can. This is our true nature.

Обръщение към народа.

Айде тоя пост да е на български, че да се разбира по-лесно.

Ще се опитам да изразя едно мнение, относно състоянието на държавата ни в момента. Като цяло, проблема идва от самите нас, гражданите. Абстрахирал съм се до такава степен от нашите медии, че просто чета новини от два-три сайта за да си изградя една обща представа за реалното случващо се. Допълнително хората от ляво и от дясно ми пълнят главата с техните мрънкания.

Започвам от фактора Бойко Борисов. Преди него се изредиха едни други лица, които си крадоха и крадоха и почти нищо не изградиха. Бойко, за разлика от тях, прави нещо за България, като допълнително сърба и мизериите на предните управници. Но! Но българчетата продължават да си мрънкат и да недоволстват. Значи, не отхвърлям че ГЕРБ крадат и те, но не в такива колосални количества. Не казвам, че има липсва на пръкващи се абсурдни реформи и закончета. Но нивото на управление СЕГА, съпоставено с това от преди 5 или 10 години е в пъти по-добро. Най-вече от гледна точка на европеизацията ни. Българина винаги ще е недоволен, каквото и да направят управляващите. Българина не забелязва малките неща, ами си гледа джоба. Ама то всичко си идва и от възпитанието. Отмира поколението възпитаници на комунизма и тая свобода и безхаберие превърна младите в безбожни селяни. Тях няма кой да ги възпита. Виновна е и законодателната ни система, защото тя Не ги плаши, ами те си правят каквото искат. От там пък идват и издевателствата от страна на МВР. Създаден е някакъв абсурден лайфстайл сред младите, където е нормално да си гангстер или мутра на 16, курва на 12 и на 25 вече да си толкова мъдър и да си преживял толкова много, че вече да се занимаваш с частен бизнес (всичко което седи срещу закона). На това са научават децата сега, възпитани от родители, които в един момент са си мислели, че Демокрацията им слага криле на гърбовете и докато се усетят, че не е така БУМ! Имат си някакво подобие на гражданин в дома. Поколенията се изреждат и опита се предава нататък. И тъй като е много по-лесно да крадеш, да биеш и да нарушаваш закона и естествено да не бъдеш наказван Пълноценно, тези ракови клетки с лични карти бясно се множат сред здравите. Ще дам един прост пример. Един клас от 25 ученика в някакво средностатистическо СОУ. Достатъчно е да има двама, чиито семейство не знаят че имат поколение, и едно-две момиченца с лабилна психика, които и те се чудят защо си губят времето в някакво си училище. След като се срещнат те се превръщат в един мощен организъм, приличащ на всичко това което описах по-горе и който Не се присъедини, просто бива отлъчен, мачкан, бит, съсипван. Така от една шепа, боклуците стават две дузини. А това са Деца, които навлизат в пубертета и ще минават през фази. За жалост тази е най-сладката и рядко някой се сеща, че има и друг начин на живот. И така след пубертета този начин на мислене и лайфстайл си се е закотвил в балканските им главички на тези дечица и отровата продължава да се разнася като чума. А проблема не е задължителен да идва от родителите. Според мен равна вина имат и интернета и модерните технологии. Мама и Тате като са богати, ще ти купуват най-новите джисеми, мазни колички и маркови дрешки..защото сред всеобщо приетия морален кодекс на България - материалното е най-висшата ценност. Всъщност заради този неконтролируем достъп до всякаква информация, страда младежта в целия свят. Едно дете, няма да види курвите и останалите начини за лесно препитание по детските площадки, ами в безкрая на точка ком. Та като цяло от тук идва и проблема. Ако приемем, че това извинение за деца, което имаме сега е коренът на нашето общество, то е нормално да цъкаме с език на общия вид на дървото. Получава се един затворен кръг. Той се затваря още веднъж и когато се обади прословутата ни твърдоглавост и безхаберие. Един кмет ще построи Нещо си в града, ще постави Второ в парка, ще направи безплатно трето. Българина, с цялата си гордост ще напсува нещото, защото сега му пречи на живота, ще счупи второто защото му е толкова акъла и ще омете третото, че лакомията му е безконечна. Кмета ще гледа през прозореца на общинката си и побелявайки ще си мърмори как опита му да имитира някакъв си там европейски град е крайно неуспешен. А после тоя горд Българин, ще дойде целия омацан и почерпен и ще почне да пикае и ругае на вратата на кмета, защо жизнения ни стандарт е нисък???? защо заплатите са ниски???КЪДЕ ОТИВАТ ДАНЪЦИТЕ? Мм..логиката прелива, а реалността си бие главата в стената. Ама и от горе не са цвете за мирисане, но все пак са по-образовани от тия дет шават по улиците. Поне така се смята де. А от Европа ни реват за корупцията! Ще реват. Тоя същия Българин, дето го описах по-горе ще размахва средни пръсти на депутатите, че крадат и разхищават парите. И докато чупи и троши от яд, всичко за което не е плащал, ще се чуди защо ония от горе си подават пари изпод бюрата защото им е омръзнало да ги дават за него. Ти и малко хитър да си, ще разбереш, че корупцията е доходен бизнес, задвижван от граждани като оня. А тия граждани пък ги е възпитавало всичко друго, но не и училището, за това те са тъй люти на света. И така, змията захапва опашката си и историята свършва.

И в крайна сметка какво излиза? Всяко следващо поколение става все по-тъпо и по-тъпо заради безхаберни родители и интернет. Всички недоволстват срещу ГЕРБ, защото те крадът по-малко и градят повече.

Омръзна ми вече. Можеше и още да бълвам ама няма смисъл. Това няма да го четат тия дето трябва, най-вече защото няма да го разберат.

My Misanthropical Way Of Thinking

First of all I want to generalize that I consider myself an intelligent guy. I believe that by studying natural science disciplines and being an Atheist opens many doors to my mind. I'm certainly not some extreme national socialistic, racist, anti-muslim or whatever kind of a man. I think globally, even beyond. I don't take political or religious sides. As a Human being I follow basic moral standards which are actually the basics of all religions or such based philosophies..so I'm not the bad guy, I just don't believe in God or whatever deity there is, believed to be the creator of all that exists. Anyone who is more or less opposite of what I am or feels insulted of this introduction, just don't read ahead.

Let's start now.

Anger. That's what fills me inside, when being around stupid people, considering themselves VERY intelligent and what not. As I've noted in previous posts my social life ends with traveling with the subway and confronting people in the university. Well, the first one is a hardcore contact with the everyday Joe. My ride is usually 20 mins or so, one direction, and I have the time to look around and amuse myself by making profiles of every citizen I see. Half an year ago I also started readying news online, from small pages (the news there are closer to the truth than anywhere else). Also I may add that in the past 2 years and still going, the Internet is getting more and more social. All that said, I think I know what's going on in our Planet.

There are several kinds of people. The most noted are the Leaders and the Followers. Free men? There is no such thing. We are slaves of our societies, laws, addictions and our lack of desire for evolving mentally. You don't agree with me? Well think all that trough and if your mind isn't changed, you know what you have to do. Aside all that we are still animals. Even bigger than before! Lets check that with a little logic, shall we? Back in the Dark Ages, the people were in their bottom in every sense. They were uneducated, simple, hungry, poor, crushed by the Church. So what they did was working all day, and doing everything they can to add food on their tables. The laws back then were harsh. There were few prisoners, because most criminals were just executed. So, if you want to live you had several choices - work yourself to death for food and your family, become a soldier (risk of dying in every battle) or just travel and die somewhere else. And this was the main population in Europe, later in the Americas and so on. This can also be said for some Asian and African cultures and nations. Of course, on the top were the few that actually had a life. Now, in the developed countries, almost every man is educated, has food on his table and lives more than happy life. Not worrying about dying of starvation, hanging, arrow/sword, heresy, you have time to actually live. What comes from all that? Most people go to clubs, get drunk, have wild parties, forget about what and who they are, were and will be. This is having Fun! Fun is something you have been told to do to feel good. I will check on that later. So when a man is in such environment his animal instincts turn on very quickly and stay such for a while. In the morning he gets up, feels bad or successful, goes to work, acts like a robot all day, sleeps, and if there is time or a chance of new wild party he goes and acts like an animal again. If our medicine was just 100 years back in development we weren't going to live more than 25-30 years, because of intoxication, nicotine, all kinds of other drugs. And as far as I know the average age in the middle ages is 30-35-40 years. Think about that. Things that make this need of becoming an animal and act like such are driven by the everyday growing addiction to drinking, sex, anarchy (and not understanding the basics of society..sad), getting into fights, doing everything possible to break the law and so on and so on. These ARE addictions. They control us, they are making us that ill, animals that call themselves the Intelligent owner of Earth (I actually passed that in another form in a previous post) . If we continue this way, we will destroy our selves. Actually some hardcore addicts realize that, but decide to continue even harder on what ever they are hooked on, with the excuse that life is short, live for the moment and more of that crap. Life is precious, life is all. You may party your ass out for 10-15 years, but when you turn 30+ you realize that your body is broken and lets not continue in that direction. And that's that.

Actually I am one of those kinds of people. I do some of the things mentioned above. Of course, not in clubs or some other human farm, but in close groups of well known people. I started the year free of alcohol and junk food. Started some working out, and the effect is obvious from my point of view. I feel great! It's been only 26 days but I feel times happier than before. I'm like everybody else, except I realize it, hating it and trying my best to escape it. I can't make an example of another animal doing so in its society. Maybe that differs me, and many more from the basic mammal. Actually I can figure a theory. I'm not feeling good being around my kind, because I am not stupid enough for it, so I stay away. There ya go!

Mass mind manipulation! Yup, it was about time to involve conspiracy theories. Wait, they are not. Big part of our society understands that the media manipulates all, but still continues to watch tv, read papers and listen to radio. Even the internet is doing so. Example - Wikipedia - you must not believe 100 of what is written there. That's the easy way of controlling a mass of people. Few decades ago it was the Church (and it still is more or less) but the media takes its toe. So the every day fashion, pop culture or whatever you wanna name it is what drives the human herd to its farms (as I previously mentioned). They tell you what to wear, what to listen, what to like, what to Know, what to Believe in, how to act, feel, think. And the sheep follow. Actually this is all happening thanks to the internet. People go everywhere and find all the information they need trough their browser. And what they need, I already explained.

Shit gets real in the beginning of the century. If you, the reader is born in the 80s or even far back, you know what I mean. The old simple times and good movies with more ideas than effects. The music made back then was pure and new. We worked with our imagination and mind. Now?

The modern ( 2000+ ) movies : Mass effects, greenscreens, USED IDEAS but more action/fighting. USED IDEAS! Also worthless remakes. Why doesn't anyone make a remake of the picture of Mona Lisa? But this is what people like now. They are too lazy or stupid to think of their own imagination, so they watch colorful, 3d, and pixar style animations - yeah, they fill the mind of the watcher with the right things, don't they? Every year, out of 50-60 movies, there are only half a dozen worth watching, and of course no one likes them, or sees them. Why? Because people are stupid, thats way. Sound offensive? Read all I wrote again. But every man knows what's best for him. And now, this is the place and time to share some more anger, by naming movies I hate. Normally I despise, but the feel of hatred comes from inside and its hard to control, if you know what I mean. Everything that Pixar does! This is the apogee of raping the purity and originality of the genre Animation. And every other company like Pixar. Marvel movies - all except some x-men series are worthless waste of time. All the new college movies - all the same, all stupid, all old jokes, all lack of originality. Avatar? Three times I sat to watch it, with 3d glasses and all. My nerves endured this brain-rape 40 mins most. Did I mentioned Pixar & co? The only movies my head endured watching is actually one - Shrek. But enough with this. Maybe I'm so into original classics that I forget myself. I'm only 23, but I sound like and old man. Well, the stupid people done that to me, can't help it.

Music - A friend of mine said a few years ago the following thing - All the riffs are used, there is no new music. - The same principle with the movies, goes with the music. And by riffs, consider not only rock/metal, but all melodies, sounds, ideas.

What else...Games - same with the movies - shooting, real-like graphics, no idea, no thought. Only blasts, blood and pretty colors.

Books - Twilight? All these waste of sheet crap like "How to quit smoking", "How to lose weight" and so on. This is not literature, this is just a sad waste of trees.

This post became pretty long, too long for todays standards. People don't read long stuff.

Other thing that is wrong is that maniacal love for cars in some people. The car is a fine thing and it has its uses in the modern life. But I don't consider very bright, people who think they are the kings of the world when they drive. Cars, cigarettes, muscles, fine clothes...this doesn't make you a smarter, better or more evolved person. This sounds like I am some teenage nerd that whines about bullies. Nope. This is how people are acting around me, every fucking time, when I am outside. These people are not teens. These people are grown Men and Women. They are complete waste of space and resources.

I didn't wish to get down with this way of thinking, but the people are making me. That's why, besides following my life's dreams, almost graduating, being successful in almost anything, I have this fantasy of an Utopia. A place where people live in harmony with nature and themselves. If I say something like this in public, people will react in three ways: laugh, because they didn't understand what I was saying; agree, but continue with their hypocritical way of life; just agree (the few).

I have plenty more to say about this, but I will leave it for another time.

In conclusion I may say. People nowadays live in a lie, because BIG amount of them are stupid and ignorant, but think otherwise of themselves. They do not know what is really happening around them. They are slaves to their addictions and make the world sick with their existence. People are the cancer of Earth. People destroy more than they actually create. We are destroying ourselves. Maybe this is the way it has to be.

More on this topic will follow!